Life Reset Challenge-Day 12: Create A Vision Board

This was one of my favorite challenges to date because it allowed me to simply dream about the future (I referenced my bucket list a lot in order  to complete this assignment) and find images that illustrated my goals, dreams, and aspirations. I opted to use the O Dream Board from Oprah.com because I did not have a lot of supplies on hand to create a physical one. Although the site has limited images I did find many that spoke to me and my vision of the future. I would recommend Oprah's website as a good place to start however I think completing the vision board hands on adds more depth to the assignment. I think I will try to get  a few magazines, a cork board, and some markers and create another more detailed vision board in the near future. In the mean time here is what I created:

Life Reset Challenge Day 11: Eliminate a Limiting Belief

"I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH"  ~Nelly

Have you ever thought that? Maybe not in those exact words but have you ever stopped yourself from going the extra mile because you didn't think YOU COULD do it? Today's challenge had a simple premise, pick a limiting belief (such as the one I wrote) and ELIMINATE it! I picked the belief I wrote above this. This belief (although not always on the forefront of my mind) prohibits me from being as successful as I can be at work, with  this blog, and in my personal life.  Although the task of eliminating a belief does seem simple to complete  when you look past the surface you realize that if it was so simple to eradicate a limiting belief you would have done so years ago.  Rosetta Thurman did suggest that participants watch a video created by Morty Lefkoe to assist in eliminating the belief. I'll be completely honest and admit that for the first two sections (about 5 minutes each) I gave the video my undivided attention. However the third section was much longer and I began to get a little restless. It's a video that I will watch again though because despite its length and repetitiveness I think it has some useful strategies. If you are interested in watcing the video, click here.

Remember:

Until next time...
Nellz

Life Reset Challenge Day 10: Creating a Bucket List

The Bucket List, this was the first image that my mind drifted to as I read the instructions for today's Life Reset Challenge. Yes, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, two older men choosing the END of their days to truly LIVE life. Although I am a firm believer in living life to the fullest (to a fault sometimes I suppose) I haven't recently written a list of the things I want to do/experience/accomplish in the future (before I kick the bucket). Sure I have ideas in my mind but writing them down and checking them off as I achieve them adds a whole other dimension to my becket list. In a way it holds me responsible for taking these random dreams, making them a reality. and checking them off my list.

So here it is, my bucket list (so far), in no particular order:

• Learn Spanish
• Live Abroad   ( at least 2 months)
• Start a business
• Participate in ever Caribbean Carnival Worldwide
• Ride in a helicopter
• Road trip from NYC to Miami
• Camp in the Grand Canyon
• Jump off of the top of a waterfall
• Take swimming lessons again (and actually retain what I learn)
• Go on vacation solo
• Visit Tahiti
• Visit Europe (England, Italy, Spain, Germany)
• Visit Brazil (Salvador de Bahia specifically)
• Visit Belize
• Visit South Africa, Ghana, Nigeria
• Start a non profit organization with the purpose of cultivating a high self esteem in girls of color
• Host a monthly game night
• Buy a house
• Buy a NEW luxury car
• Learn to make accessories (earrings, rings, etc.)
• Have a YouTube channel
• Go on a week long cruise
• Ride a Motorcycle
• Become a part time event planner
• Start an accessory line
• Have a child
• Get married
• To be continued....

Life Reset Day 9: Do One Thing

Today’s challenge was simple enough and made logical sense to me, as a result it was easy for me to complete. The challenge? Do one thing that will help you achieve one of your goals or one of the areas of your life you have decided to work on as a result of joining the Life Reset Challenge. I decided that I would work on developing better relationships with my family and friends today. I will admit this was also important to me because I have been out of the country for two weeks and missed simply having the opportunity to speak and communicate with the people that are close to me. I must also admit it felt good to have a decent talk with my father and connect with friends today. I also know and realize in the future (once I return to work) I will not have the luxury of time to have these conversations. To combat that I know I have to plan the time to speak with them as much as I plan the time to do other things in my life that I deem important. I look forward to day 10.

Until then.... ciao!

Life Reset Day 8-Reflect, Comment, Connect

Today's challenge was to reflect on the previous challenges completed thus far and answer the following:

What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week?

What has been your favorite exercise so far?

Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why?

Reflect:

I decided to embark on this challenge originally because I felt my life was stagnant and although I had accomplished a few things I was not sure what my next steps should be. The only thing I was sure of was that I was not satisfied with this (my current life) being the all I accomplish in life. With that being said I learned that I have a few paths that I can choose to go down that will possibly change my lifestyle. I also realized that there are a few stark differences between the life I want and the life I have that can be fixed with a little effort on my part. Lastly, I learned that I start a lot of projects but have a tendency to not follow though (ie. this challenge) and if I want to master anything I have to stick with it. My favorite exercises were creating my personal mission statement and conducting the life assessment. These two exercises forced me to dissect myself in a meaningful way and decide who I wanted to ultimately become. I struggled with yesterday’s assignment to create my ideal life narrative not because the task was difficult to complete but because I questioned how that would assist me in the present.

Comment/Connect:

I would like to take this opportunity to say thanks you to a person that I started this challenge with. In fact they are the reason I am trying this challenge a second time around again and the reason why although I am exhausted I am making it a priority to write this post. Thanks for pushing me, sending messages asking where my posts are, and flagging my spelling errors. More importantly thank you for diligently completing the challenge yourself and being the example. Keep plugging away at this challenge, continue to reflect on yourself and grow, and don’t be afraid to make some real changes in your life.

Day 7--Write Your Ideal Life Narrative

Where is Day 6 you ask? I skipped it! Day 6's challenge was to draw your life map using the seven sectors of your life (finance, relationship, lifestyle, etc) as your areas of focus. Although I watched Rosetta's video in which she went over the steps she took (and her mom as well) to create her own life map, it wasn't useful (in my opinion) in helping me create my own. The workbook that Rosetta created to help you through this process of creating a life map was removed from the site with promises of bringing a bigger and better version to the site in the near future. Until then I decided to move on to day 7.



Day 7's challenge asks you to simply transcribe what your ideal life would look like all while speaking in the present tense. This is an activity I have done with some kids that I have worked with in the past and it was interesting to be the one "creating " this ideal life. Although I understand the purpose of making a statement about what you want as a way of (or the first step to) making it your reality but while thinking about my "ideal" life I couldn't help but feel like it was slightly unrealistic. Without further delay, my narrative:



I live in Washington D.C, Miami, or in New York City in a residential community not far from the hustle and bustle of city living but with a community vibe. My home is large enough for me to entertain guests on a regular basis and also has a small rental property. It is ordinary for people to come over for backyard bbq's, game nights, movie nights, and simply dinner or a drink. I am a well-known lifestyle blogger that people look to for advice and ideas on all things natural hair as well as Carnival. My blog is doing so well that it generates its own income by way of advertising on the site. I am constantly invited to speak at Natural Hair events to share my experience, trials, and pitfalls with natural hair. I have successfully started a series of natural hair meet-ups for teens and tweens interested in embarking on or are currently on their natural hair journey. In addition to this I continue my work as a counselor counseling young women in a private practice focusing on self-esteem, positive self-image, and creating and achieving goals. In addition to this I have a girls mentoring program that I have launched in several public schools in the region that I live which extends the same services to inner city girls as I give in my private practice. In an effort to continue my education I take many classes in various topics from cooking classes, to belly dance, to sandal making classes. I work for myself mainly and I am financially stable. I spend my downtime enjoying vacations throughout the world and on a bi-yearly basis with close friends. I also regularly visit Trinidad and Barbados for their carnival seasons for my personal enjoyment. I have relationships that are close in nature with my family and friends which is illustrated by how often they visit my home. In addition to this I have an outgoing, ambitious, driven, humorous, supportive and loving partner who is always pushing me to keep on breaking barriers and becoming successful. We are planning to have a child (or have one) in the near future. I exercise regularly and maintain a well-balanced diet daily.



Sounds like a modern day fairy tale. Let's see what Day 8's challenge brings.

Day 5 (finally) Personal Mission Statement

Day 5 of this challenge asks you to create a mission statement with the goal of in essence defining who you are as a perosn and what your purpose is in life.Although at the first the task seems relatively daunting Rosetta Thurman does stress the fact that this is just a draft and as you grow and evolve so will your personal statement. Here's my first stab at it:


I am a strong woman of color of West Indian decent who not only realizes and admires the path that her ancestors paved but strives to blaze her own trail. I value independence, success, living a fruitful life, integrity, love, wisdom, and close personal connections with people (family, friends, people I work with). In order to continue being successful I will push myself to learn and grow constantly through formal education, life experiences, and speaking with others who have come before me. I will continually reassess my life in an effort to determine what steps should be taken to continue to improve myself. I will travel in order to gain knowledge of the world by witnessing first hand other peoples realities. I will not put all my time and energy into work but also into developing relationships with people and expanding my own personal horizons. I will always strive to have my voice heard and speak my personal truth in a polite, firm, and respectful manner. I will always remember that my thoughts and opinions matter and my voice deserves to be heard. I will continue to be a role model to other children of color through my current work and pursue other forums where I and others like myself can be  mentors to children. I will also continue to use my blog as a platform to be a role model to other young women. Last but not least I will continue to push myself by way of this challenge and other personal development materials.


Day 6...up next. 
Ciao


Nelly 

Life Reset Challenge-Day Four Walking My talk

Today's challenge was to take the values I have identified as my own and rate yourself on each and then envision them in action. In the spirit of transparency I will say that I am doing this challenge directly on the computer and I have not written down my answers or thought this out beforehand. 

• Independence: 9, I am a very independent young woman. I can provide for myself and rarely ask anyone for assistance. I will acknowledge here that this wasn't always the case and I have had help to get to this point (which I am truly grateful for) but now that I am at this point, I intend to stay this way.
• Being a role model: 8, In my line of work I am a role model to young women on a daily basis. I think it is a crucial experience for young women to have someone positive they can look up to and I take that aspect of my job very seriously.
• Travel/Adventure: 7, I have been fortunate enough to be able to indulge a little in this category. The reason why it is important to me (an listed as a value) is because I think that seeing other places in the world opens up your eyes to new ways of thinking and gratitude for the life you currently have. Sometimes you have to step outside of your sector the world to see the bigger picture. I would love to backpack across various parts of the world to further elevate my mind.
• Success: 7, success is a very subjective word because it means so many different things to so many different people. Although I have not reached to the pinnacle of what success is for me I have taken the steps to get there. 
• Love: 7 
• Living a fruitful life: 6, A lot of my time is spent on helping others live a fruitful life and I neglect my own. Every once in a while I will try a new experiences (ie. my latest endeavor taking a sewing class)however I allow my self these experiences sporadically. Life is for living. 
• Close Relationships:5, I know this is an area I need to work on. Yes, I value having a group of core friends I can depend on. I also value having a close relationship with my family members. However, I do not do nearly enough to maintain these relationships.
• Wisdom: 5
• Integrity/Speaking my truth: 5, I am a honest person. However if the truth hurts or may make people look at me differently I avoid it. My fear of being misunderstood by people often leads me to not speaking my truth. 
• Economic Security: 4, Yes I am independent however if I were to loose my job or anything of that nature I would fall on hard times quickly. 

What can I do to become a 10 in each of these categories:

• Independence, Economic Security, and Success: Stay on track with everything I am doing currently career wise. Research potential ways to invest my current earnings. Reach the goal of purchasing another property. Start a small business.
• Being A Role Model: Seek out other opportunities outside of my profession to become a role model to young women. 
• Travel/Adventure, Living A fruitful life: Find a balance between work and social life. Continue to seek new things to learn. Join a vacation group. Find other opportunities to meet new people which will in turn lead to experiencing new things.
• Close Relationships: Call/text close friends/family more often. Organize opportunities to spend quality time together. 
• Integrity/Speaking My Truth: If I feel it I should say it (respectfully), replace the fear of being misunderstood with the fear of not being understood at all. Remember how much I respect other peoples honesty. 

That's all I have for now. If you have any other ideas on how I can become a 10 in those areas please feel free to drop me an email. Tomorrow...Day 5. Ciao!

Life Reset Challenge --Day Three

Identifying Your Values was the title of Rosetta Thurman's third assignment in her Life Reset Challenge. At first glance this seemed like an easy exercise for me, how difficult could it be for me to name my values? However, as I continued to read the directions I learned that I would have to choose my top ten values I realized that this would not be an easy feat. I doubt my current list is accurate but this is what I came up with so far ( in no particular order):

• Being a role model/making a difference in the world
• Success
• Close relationships with family/friends
• Living a fruitful life
• Travel/adventure
• Wisdom
• Integrity/Speaking my truth
• Love
• Economic Security
• Independence

Tomorrow I will complete day four's assignment which is to rate myself on each of my stated values and what I am doing currently to achieve them.

Life Reset Challenge Day Two

I'll admit I am a little behind on my contributions to the Life Reset Challenge although I vowed (to myself) not to be. I have been writing in my notebook somewhat regularly but translating those words onto this document, and into this post, has been a challenge for me. The last few assignments have forced me to look and analyze myself on several sectors of my life. I am not sure about you but it is not often that I have conversations with myself about the good, bad, and ugly of it ALL. The second stumbling block I have been facing is deciding what I can say in this forum. It's not easy sharing your self-reflections with friends let alone the world (or whoever actually reads my little blog). This is the second time I have started this post and although I am determined to post this before my head touches my pillow tonight, as I type these words I have no idea what I am actually going to say.

Let's start with some facts, day two, three and fours challenges although different tasks are all strung together to help you achieve the goal of creating your personal statement. Step one (day two) consisted of conducting a Life Assessment on seven different categories of your life:

• Lifestyle (satisfaction with where you live and how you spend leisure time),
• Work (satisfied with where you are working and how you earn a living)
• Education (satisfaction with your educational attainment to date)
• Finances (current state of your budget/money management, salary, net worth, debt to income ratio
• Health (current state of your mental, physical, and spiritual health, mind body and soul)
• Family (quality of your relationships with family members)
• Relationships (quality of your relationships with your friends and romantic partners).

With each category participants are asked to simply write what they loved about this area of their life and what they hated.

Some things that became apparent to me were that areas in my life such as work, education, and health had the longest lists for things that I loved. My health is an area in my life I have been fortunate enough to not have had much issues with (although I could do a better job of taking care of myself in general). The next highest were education and employment. These are two areas in my life that I know I have put the most energy into mapping out and setting goals for. Yes, I have room to grow in both areas of my life but I am satisfied overall with my accomplishments in this stage of my life. I would say my most pressing concern in these two areas is that I feel as if I am stagnant and with that comes the strong desire to create some more goals to achieve in education and in my line of work.

So what needs work? Lifestyle. Finances. Family. Relationships. These are all categories in my life that I have not set goals for or devoted enough time to. Not long ago I wouldn't have put lifestyle or relationships in that category(negative outweighing the positive) but over time things have changed. My leisure time is all but absent most of the year due to work commitments which is a totally different experience from my past. When I first began my current job I vowed never to let me suck all the life out of me (as it has done others) but looking at myself now I know I haven't been successful at that. Currently I blog in my free time and attend natural hair events however outside of that its dismal. I firmly believe in working hard and playing harder and the summer used to be the time of year where I LIVED and EXPERIENCED LIFE. This isn't the case now. This ties into the relationship piece of this assessment as well. Over the past few weeks I have bumped into, exchanged numbers with, and reacquainted myself with a few friends from my past. All that at some point in time has held a significant role and knew me somewhat well. These experiences caused me to wonder why I no longer spoke with these people. What did that say about me? What does that say about the way I cultivate my relationships/friendships? The value that I give them? Lastly, on friendship I have spoken about Tee and Rachel before on my blog and our longstanding friendship. Although we all still care for each other deeply as life moves on our time that we are able to spend together becomes less and less. I do miss having a core group of friends that can mirror the bond I share with Tee and Rachel. Words can’t express how it feels from being a part of Charlie’s Angels to Solo Angel.

Finances. I am an independent young woman and I love that about myself. Yes, I have had some help along the way to achieve that and  I have met a few bumps along the way but I am financially stable. Stability however in my opinion although good is not enough when I think of the goals of wanting to buy a house, buy a car, and travel the world (traveling is definitely a passion of mine, ranking just above shopping). The house vs. car debate is one that I have in my mind daily (especially as I ride the train). My car symbolized a lot of things for me , my independence, my freedom, and my success. I have had it for years and without it my world feels confined and restricted. However the money that I would use to purchase a car is the same money that I need to put a down payment on a house. What is more important to me? It all depends on what day you ask me.

Lastly, family. There is no doubt we all love each other and would do anything for one another in a heartbeat. However as a group there are some things that we haven't figured out how to deal with yet and have decided that avoidance would work best. However, I know (and fear the moment when ) the other shoe will drop.

That’s it for now (three and four will be posted in a few hours). Nelly.

Sometimes you just need to RESET

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

For the next 31 days and beyond this quote will be my guiding light as I follow Rosetta Thurman's Life Reset challenge and work towards developing my inner self and creating new possibilities for my life. Although in general I feel like I am a successful woman I do believe I can elevate myself to a higher level and reach my highest potential. Step one, find a notebook for documenting your journey as well as finding your personal mantra. Done!!! I'll check in with you all with step two tomorrow!