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I originally wrote this post back in August 2010 before I started this blog. Ever since then its sat in a folder not forgotten but I was waiting for the right time to post it. Recently I was on Black Girl Long Hair and read a post she wrote about people responding to an advertisement for hair products that featured a curly haired woman overwhelmingly more than they did for the same advertisement featuring a kinky haired women. I immediately remembered the products and the results I wanted and looked for this past summer when I decided to wear my hair out again and my confrontation with the truth about my hair:
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As you may, or may not know, I consider myself a “born again” natural. Originally, sometime in 2003, I made the decision to cease putting perm in my hair. For the past two years I have grown my fried – to a proverbial crisp (thanks flat iron) - hair with braids and weaves until July 2010. A few months prior I made the decision to wear my hair in its natural state again. I practically had the date marked in my calendar - circled in red ink. As the countdown to this fantastic event drew nearer my excitement level did the same. I read blogs (Curly Nikki, MopTop Maven, etc.), watched countless hours of YouTube videos (KimmayTube, Rustic Beauty, Prettydimples 01, Ms Vaughn, etc.), and immersed myself in this world of natural beauty. In addition to this I spent many hours staring at pictures from Khamitkinks.com. Lastly, I looked at a picture I had taken of my hair before my last set of box braids and knew I was ready for the big reveal. I bought sulfate free shampoo and conditioners, headbands, bows, banana clips, combs, brushes, Castor Oil, Kinky Curly, Shea Moisture, and Aloe Vera just to name a few. After all the effort and time I had put into mixing, applying, rinsing, and drying my hair, the moment of reckoning was at hand when I looked up in the mirror and saw…
Words can’t describe the sinking feeling that gripped me after I took a dime-sized amount of Kinky Curly, slid it down a few strands of my hair expecting a curl to form, and nothing happened. Not even a single curl popped. Not a single strand of hair would relent from its frazzled state. Every method I could think of: brushing, combing, using the “praying hands” technique, scrunching, etc. No matter what I tried…my hair basically looked like a wet cotton ball. I called my sister who has had great results with Kinky Curly Curling Custard. We both had no clue as to what had gone wrong. She loves KCCC and swears by it. I watched some key videos again to see if I missed a step or was doing something wrong, but I had followed every instruction as communicated. Then it hit me... perhaps I have a loathsome non-curl pattern texture of hair. Right then and there I thought to myself, what’s the point? Why be natural if my hair can’t easily be styled (shake and go, pop curls, etc)? So that weekend I decided that I would get braid extensions or a weave and would not leave the house because my heart was aching. I nearly collapsed when I realized I had to run out to Target and could not find a hat (mind you this was July in NYC). I felt ashamed and embarrassed. I thought I had made a grave mistake somewhere along in the process. Despite all the mental preparation I was not ready for this. I opted to do a twist-out, which sort of alleviated my disappointment, and with that came the seed of hair confidence that has evolved into what it is today. I am proud of my hair! I have learned, what it can and what it can’t do, and adapted accordingly. So if it refuses to be curly, then it’ll just have to be versatile, edgy, attention grabbing, kinky, and fly; but, at the end of the day it is what it is.
Ladies, love yourself for WHO you ARE! That’s one lesson I have learned since embarking on this second journey as an Urban Naturalista.
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